DV and Churches

Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behaviors used to control an intimate partner. It includes emotional, sexual, physical and financial abuse. It causes victims to change their behavior in response to the abuse. Domestic violence occurs in all socio-economic, racial, and religious groups. Sexual orientation is no protection, nor is age or gender.

Domestic violence is not "just a family matter". It is a crime for which the abuser must be held accountable. When society "looks the other way," it encourages abusers to continue their pattern of abuse.

Domestic violence is often cyclical. This is one reason it is so confusing and difficult for the victim to leave.

Cycle of Violence

During the calm or honeymoon stage, the abusers are often extremely remorseful, promising never to repeat the violence and to go to the pastor for counseling. They may even shower their partners with gifts, flowers, and romantic dinners.

How big is the problem?

• A domestic battery occurs every 9 seconds.
• 2 to 4 thousand women a year are murdered and 2 to 4 million women a year are injured as a result of domestic violence.
• Nearly 1 in 4 American women between the ages of 18 and 65 have experienced domestic violence.
• Domestic violence is a leading cause of emergency room visits for women.
• 1 in 4 women and 1 in 12 men in the pew have experienced domestic violence and their abuser is likely to be sitting next to them.

Who are the victims?

Statistics show that 95% of victims are women. Sometimes men are victims and same-sex partners may also be abused. No matter who the victim is, domestic violence is a serious problem that churches and other religious groups must address, along with legal and social service organizations.

Who are the abusers?

Statistics show that 95% of abusers are men. Many witnessed domestic violence as a child. Abusers are often good providers, charming, sober, and respected in the community and in their congregations. However, behind the home's doors, they are controlling, extremely jealous and threatening. An abuser with access to weapons greatly increases the risk of a potentially lethal incident.

What can the Church do to prevent Domestic Violence?

• Encourage clergy to speak out against domestic violence from the pulpit.
• Form committees to address the issue of domestic violence.
• Offer pre-marriage counseling on dealing with conflict, equality, violence, and control.
• Offer classes for youth that encourage the values of gender equality and nonviolent conflict resolution.
• Invite staff from local domestic violence programs to speak to the congregation.
• Offer meeting space in your church to the local domestic violence programs.
• Support local domestic violence programs with monetary donations, needed items or volunteer time.

Books

1. Battered But Not Broken: Help for Abused Wives and Their Church Families, Patricia Riddle Gaddis. Judson Press, 1996.
2. Domestic Violence: What Every Pastor Needs to Know, Reverend Al Miles. Augsburg Fortress, 2000.
3. Keeping the Faith: Guidance for Christian Women Facing Abuse, Marie M. Fortune. HarperCollins, 1987.
4. No Place for Abuse: Biblical & Practical Resources to Counteract Domestic Violence, Catherine Clark Kroeger & Nancy Nason-Clark. InterVarsity, 2001.
5. Refuge from Abuse: Healing and Hope for Abused Christian Women, Nancy Nason-Clark and Catherine Clark Kroeger. InterVarsity Press, 2004.
6. The Battered Wife: How Christians Confront Family Violence, Nancy Nason-Clark. Westminster John Knox Press, 1997.
7. Women Abuse and the Bible: How Scripture Can Be Used to Hurt or Heal, Catherine Clark Kroeger and James R. Beck, Editors. Baker Books, 1996.
8. Violence in Families: What Every Christian Needs to Know, Reverend Al Miles. Augsburg Books, 2002.

Websites

Some of the above books as well as a few other helpful resources may be found on the following website:

www.transformcommunities.org/tctatsite/downloads/Faith_Bibliography.doc

This website contains an exhaustive DV bibliography for faith communities:

www.faithtrustinstitute.org/index.php?p=Bibliography&s=37

Sheltering Wings does not endorse these materials or the authors. This list is provided for the purpose of suggesting resources for those who desire to learn more about domestic violence.