From the Director

Why Do They Stay?

Why Do They Stay?

Dear Friends, Do you ever wonder why victims of domestic violence stay with their abusers? It’s a common question, and there are many answers. You’ll see some on social media with the #whyistayed hashtag. One of the most frequent answers that we hear seems especially appropriate to discuss during the month of May: they’re mothers, and they want to protect their children. Their perspective is that by staying, they either continue to provide a place where their kids can live, or they may keep the abuser focused on themselves so he doesn’t touch the kids. And why do victims leave? Once again, it’s often because they’re mothers. They want to protect their kids. They don’t want them to be witnesses to abuse. And they don’t want the kids to grow up believing that abuse is a normal part of a relationship (again, there’s a hashtag you’ll see, #whyileft). No matter why victims stay or leave, Sheltering Wings is here to support them. Whether that involves bringing them to the safety of our shelter or giving them access to resources that help them find safety on their own, we’re dedicated to helping mothers and all victims enjoy stable, independent lives. Your generous and prayerful support makes that all possible. Thank you for everything you do to help mothers, their children, and all the others who seek to remove abuse from their lives. Abiding in Him, Cassie Martin Executive... read more
Domestic Violence Doesn’t Stay at Home

Domestic Violence Doesn’t Stay at Home

Dear Friends,   Domestic violence doesn’t stay at home when its victims go to work. Think about that for a moment. Most think that abuse is something that happens only behind the closed doors of a home. But for victims who work, that isn’t the case. A national study found that three-quarters of abuse victims had been harassed at work by their husband or partner. More than half were late for work at least five times in the last month because of abuse and 28 percent had to leave early at least five days during the month. And 94 percent of corporate security directors say that domestic violence presents a high security problem for their companies. When victims leave home, the workplace is often the only place their abuser can find and attack them. We know that one in four women experiences abuse during her lifetime. Is your company addressing the victims who work for it? Is there a plan in place to protect workers and to support them if they seek help? Sheltering Wings can provide training for managers about the signs of abuse and what to do when they suspect an employee is a victim. We can also provide awareness training for employees. If your company isn’t already doing this, please have your HR director contact Melissa Echerd at 317-386-5061 or mecherd@shelteringwings.org to discuss what we can do. Thank you for your continued support of Sheltering Wings … and thank you in advance for helping us support people at your workplace! Abiding in Him, Cassie Martin Executive... read more
Worthy of Honor and Deserving of Respect

Worthy of Honor and Deserving of Respect

Dear Friends,   When most people think of Sheltering Wings, they think of our role as a safe haven for victims of domestic violence. And yes, that’s a major part of why we exist. But what’s just as important is our other roles. Let me spotlight two of those. The first is that we’re a community clearinghouse for all the services and resources that help women escape and recover from abuse. From education, to employment, to emotional resources like counseling and support groups, to parenting support, financial know-how, and help recovering from addiction, we’re a central resource for everything they need. We’ve helped thousands of families who never walked through our doors. The second is our focus on preparing women for their new lives, giving them the information and support they need to create safe and independent lives that are free from abuse. Through personalized case management, support groups, and many of the resources mentioned above, we help women find freedom and long-term stability for themselves and for their children. Our deepest hope is that each person will experience a transformation that will change who she is today and who she’ll be every tomorrow for the rest of her life. She’ll know that she is a person of value, worthy of honor, and deserving of respect. The support you provide does so much more than provide safe shelter for a woman. You’ve helped us make permanent changes in thousands of lives. Thank you for your continued support! Abiding in Him, Cassie Martin Executive... read more
A Big Step in Eliminating Domestic Violence

A Big Step in Eliminating Domestic Violence

Dear Friends, When February arrives, your thoughts may turn to love. After all, the month’s major holiday is Valentine’s Day. At Sheltering Wings, our thoughts turn to teenagers. That’s because February is also Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. If teens can begin their dating years knowing the difference between healthy and abusive relationships, they’re less likely to encounter problems in their adult years. Our staff frequently goes into schools and church youth groups to talk with teens about healthy dating relationships, and one of the most important conversations we have is about boundaries. It’s a great subject for parents to discuss, too. We emphasize the importance of communication in establishing healthy boundaries, urging teens to speak up when something bothers them instead of holding it in, to respect their partner’s wishes and feelings, and if disagreements arise, how to compromise in fair, constructive ways. We urge them to offer reassurance and encouragement, because healthy relationships are about building each other up. And we stress the importance of respecting each other’s privacy and personal space. Dating shouldn’t be a 24-hour activity. Boundaries aren’t signs of secrecy or distrust. In fact, they’re the very opposite. They express what makes us comfortable, provide guidelines for the relationship, and protect our individuality. Dating is new territory for teens, and it creates a lot of uncertainty. By taking the time to talk with the teens in your life about healthy relationships, you’re increasing the chances that they’ll have positive experiences and be able to protect themselves when something isn’t right. It may seem small, but it’s a big step in eliminating domestic violence from... read more

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A Bold Proposal

Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old he will not depart from it. — PROVERBS 22:6  I HAVE A BOLD PROPOSAL: we should celebrate Christmas in November and Thanksgiving in December. It seems backwards that we spend a Thursday in November expressing gratitude for life’s blessings, and just hours later, we’re celebrating consumerism at Black Friday sales to kickoff the Christmas season. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Of course, it’s tough to change traditions. And when those traditions don’t make sense, we just shrug our shoulders and accept them. Most of the time, that’s harmless. But for some families, what has become traditional is unhealthy and downright dangerous. I think about that each time a child comes to live with us. What have they seen at home and how are they processing it? What unhealthy attitudes about relationships have become normal? What patterns do they repeat because they’ve been modeled at home? I vividly remember one little boy looking at his mother and saying, “I’m going to hit you in the head and you will die.” He wasn’t being angry or malicious. He was simply repeating what he had heard the adults in his home say. That’s why our work with children is so critical. If we can break that cycle of abuse and prevent little boys and girls from growing up in homes where domestic violence is a way of life, we’ll achieve a true victory. This holiday season, I hope you’ll create wonderful memories (and maybe some new traditions) with your family. And I’ll spend my family’s traditional...

Making a Difference

At a recent meeting, I was asked to create a pie chart showing how we divide our time between providing services directly to domestic violence victims and delivering prevention and education services. Then I was asked to create a pie chart showing what we wanted the proportion to be in 15 years. My dream is that our prevention and education efforts become so successful, allowing that piece of the pie to grow as demand for services to victims shrinks. What would that take? What new programs and services are needed? Which existing programs should we expand? What resources do we need to gather?

Groundwork For Transformation

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.— ROMANS 12:2 The words “conform” and “transform” may end the same way, but they produce very different results. When you conform, you comply with rules and behave the way society expects. Transformation, on the other hand, involves a dramatic or complete change in your form, appearance, or character. Our first priority is providing emergency housing for women and children who are escaping domestic abuse. Once their safety is assured, we lay the groundwork for transformation through Life Skills programs and services that build self-sufficiency. We want them to deeply understand that they are worthy of honor and respect. We want them to eagerly reach out and take advantage of the educational and occupational opportunities available to them. We want them to learn how to cope with stress, manage anger, and parent more effectively. We want them to develop all the skills they need to live safely and independently, from budgeting to self-advocacy. When a woman arrives at Sheltering Wings, our goal isn’t for her to simply conform to society’s standards. We hope she’ll experience a transformation that will dramatically change her today and every day for the rest of her life. Her transformation is our ultimate goal. Sheltering Wings...

Escaping Domestic Abuse

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.— TIMOTHY 1:7  I’ve occasionally wondered if using the terms “emergency housing” and “emergency services” ever deters someone from seeking assistance when escaping domestic abuse. After all, deciding whether one’s situation is an emergency is a matter of perspective. A person who has experienced abuse throughout life, who watched parents verbally and/or physically assault one another, and who sees friends and relatives in unhealthy relationships may view his or her own circumstances as normal. “I’m not in an emergency situation,” they may think. “I don’t need to call the crisis line. This relationship is just what it is.” It’s a way of thinking that troubles me. You see, someone who becomes accustomed to this negative pattern of behavior may accept it as normal. That makes them difficult for us to reach, even though they’re often the people who need help the most! Abuse escalates over time, so abusive relationships can be both chronic and critical. Our staff members who take help line calls have specialized training. When a victim (or someone who knows a victim) calls, they use standardized assessments to gauge the degree of danger, so they can recommend the best course of action. Some callers need safe housing. Others need referrals, safety planning, and support. No matter what their situation, Sheltering Wings is ready to help anyone who calls our help line, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. If you or someone you know needs assistance, or just has questions about abuse, please call us. Sheltering Wings Spring...

Upcoming Events

Jun
1
Thu
6:30 pm Embracing Empowerment @ Sheltering Wings Community Room
Embracing Empowerment @ Sheltering Wings Community Room
Jun 1 @ 6:30 pm – 8:00 pm
Embracing Empowerment @ Sheltering Wings Community Room | Danville | Indiana | United States
Embracing Empowerment meets every Thursday, 6:30-8:00pm, June 1, 8, 15, 22, 29. Embracing Empowerment is a support group which is open to residents and community members.  This support group will help victims and survivors gain[...]
Jun
13
Tue
6:30 pm Teens That Talk-Youth Council Me... @ Sheltering Wings
Teens That Talk-Youth Council Me... @ Sheltering Wings
Jun 13 @ 6:30 pm – 8:00 pm
Teens That Talk-Youth Council Meeting @ Sheltering Wings
Teens That Talk Youth Council is a group of students from various schools in Hendricks County, Avon, Plainfield, Brownsburg, Danville and Tri-West.  They range in ages from freshman to seniors.   Our mission is to raise[...]
Jun
29
Thu
all-day 3rd Annual Fairway To Haven Golf... @ West Chase Golf Course
3rd Annual Fairway To Haven Golf... @ West Chase Golf Course
Jun 29 all-day
3rd Annual Fairway To Haven Golf Outing @ West Chase Golf Course | Brownsburg | Indiana | United States
You are invited to Sheltering Wings 3rd Annual Golf Outing. Fairway To Haven June 29, 2017 @West Chase Golf Club in Brownsburg On line registration is now open for our Fairway To Haven Golf Outing.[...]